A Transitional Dilemma: Some Sex Changes Change Back-Again

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A Transitional Dilemma: Some Sex Changes Change Back-Again
by Scott Stiffler
EDGE Contributor
Tuesday Mar 17, 2009

Mike Penner became Christine Daniels and then Mike Penner again.

Mike Penner was what you could call a guy’s guy. A sportswriter for the Los Angeles Times--you can’t get much more macho than that. So it made news across the country when he returned from an extended time-off in April 2007 and returned to the sports desk as Christine Daniels.

But Daniels’ 15 minutes of fame had been extended. In October of last year, Daniels shocked the world yet again when he returned to his job after another leave of absence. Only this time, he came back as Mike Penner. Christine Daniels transitioned again--back to a man.

Penner’s story has focused attention on those few cases of buyer’s remorse. When does a person decide that a sex change wasn’t the right thing to do? What motivates such a person? Does it present a bad image to those who wish to transition? Does it give ammunition to enemies of LGBT rights, those who claim that changing sexes is unnatural or against God’s law?

Part of the problem is the daunting obstacles facing anyone who makes a sex change. In the 60 years since an American ex-serivceman exploded on the world stage by having a sex change in Denmark and becoming Christine Jorgensen, there has been progress in acceptance of gender identity. But there has also been a retrenchment. In fact, Jorgensen herself received relatively little discrimination.

Compare that to what people who under go sex changes experience now, in their private life, their families and work (if they can get a job).

If you’ve ever improved your life by moving to a different city, changing jobs or dating extensively before finding a partner, you’ve probably received praise, support, and newfound credibility for that transition. Yet for those who switch back and forth between gender identities, the ongoing process of self realization is often greeted with skepticism from a culture which still finds the very notion of gender fluidity difficult to fathom.

Becky Allison, M.D. is a cardiologist who has gone through a gender transition. She refers to the process of making multiple transitions (such as male-to-female-to-male) as "gender detransition." A return to the birth gender often evokes reactions of puzzlement even among those who consider themselves accepting and enlightened. "People tend to be tolerant of diversity," Allison happily notes, "but they’re a little spooked by going back and forth."

Allison likens the public nature of transitioning to a bell; once rung, you can’t unring it. "It’s in people’s memory banks. If Joe becomes Jane and goes back to Joe again, they’ll remember this as part of their past and that’s going to color their feelings for the person." You can go back to your previous gender identity, Allison observes, but in doing so, "you’ve labeled yourself as a person who has some ’issues.’"

Some Ask: Is It Some People Just ’Can’t Make Up Their Mind’?
Skepticism is often the first -- and only -- reaction from a "society operating on a superficial level." Without knowing the circumstances surrounding the decision to detransition, "It’s easy to say that person just can’t make up their mind; to dismiss them as not being serious, or doing any deep thinking -- and that’s rarely true."

Talk radio host and attorney Robin Goldstein has devoted much of her life--and much deep thought--to her own quest for gender identity and personal fulfillment.

At 51, she’s gone from male to female to male and back again to female. This decades-long process has inspired its share of perplexed reactions.

Asked what she identifies as now, Goldstein describes herself only half jokingly as "a straight, white, Buddhist, vegetarian, lesbian fraternity boy trapped in the body of a recovering transsexual patent attorney with a bizarre sense of humor, and a master’s degree in city planning."

That laundry list acknowledges the humor and absurdity surrounding the misconception that any of us can be summed up by one simple reference to gender, career or disposition.

For Goldstein, the point she arrived at after the long process of transition and detransition is confidence and contentment -- society be damned. "The first time I transitioned," Goldstein recalls, "I felt I needed to ask permission to those around me. Some people freaked out." The second time, "I was still concerned about it, but had more of a sense of power." By the third time, "It was like, dude, whatever. I am who I am. If you love and support me, great -- and if you don’t, fuck you."

No longer concerned with justifying her motives, Goldstein says her journey is not so different than others who go through a succession of jobs, homes, or significant others before settling down. "It’s not about being trans. It’s about reaching our potential fulfillment as human beings."

Next: Facing Skeptics in Gay & Trans Communities

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COMMENTS

"A Transitional Dilemma: Some Sex Changes Change Back-Again"

Anonymous, 2009-03-17 06:46:56

There’s still a huge blind-spot in the general public’s conception of gender. Transsexuality challenges patriarchy and the notion of male dominance and superiority much more than it does gender as such, and because of that the essential idea of an absolute gender binary remains. From a personal point of view, I think many people that transition multiple times are actually probably androgyne or neutrois or other forms of transgender, but in the same way that transsexual people experience the pressure to conform to their birth sex, transgender people experience the pressure to conform to one or the other and stick with it. The idea that gender and sexuality is fluid in some people, and that that is as it should be, is still very alien to most people. The fact is though that there are people who identify with both male and female equally, or with neither one at all, or varyingly with either one. It’s too bad that so many transsexual people are quick to attack those identities, or judge detransitions so harshly, when really, those people are on their own path of self-truth, and deserve the same support and acceptance as anybody. Mina Magpie.

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Anonymous, 2009-03-17 11:01:47

Anonymous, I’ve never heard transsexual people attack gender fluidity except when some gender fluid/genderqueer people try to characterize us as "guardians of binary gender". I have no issue with non-binary gender or gender fluid people and support their identities and expression. However, I don’t want them making assumptions about who I am and how my trans identity (a straight woman) automatically means I’ve "bought" into the binary. Nor do I think most cases of detransition have anything to do with fluidity. More often, they’re the result of familial, finanacial, personal and social pressure overwhelming the transitioner. As in Ms. Goldstein’s case, many detransitioners end up retransitioning later on when they feel even more desperate in their birth gender or grounded and stable enough to attempt it a second time. One of the biggest issues with people who detransition is those who transition for the wrong reasons, e.g. confusing gender and sexuality or some mental conditions on top of a certain amount of gender dysphoria. Believe me, Mike Penner received an outpouring of support and empathy from the trans community who know how hard it is to find one’s true self and the tough passage to get there.

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Anonymous, 2009-03-17 23:49:27

I was simply responding to Ms. Goldstein’s comment: ... "This is still not right. It might be that neither is a perfect fit." She realized "You’re going to have to squeeze and push in both roles ... and I wasn’t attacking transsexuality either. I was merely commenting on how detransition and gender fluidity is perceived by most of the general public along with many transsexual people, though obviously not the poster who responded to my comment. Mina Magpie.

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Anonymous, 2009-03-19 08:17:42

I can’t believe the Edge is re-printing this article. This is basically the same article that ran in the USA Today a little while ago. It greatly exaggerates the situation. This article is flawed. This article is flawed in many respects. The only thing I more or less agree with is indirect admission that 98% of transitions are successful. The author fails to mention that before medically assisted transition that there weren’t any successful treatments for people born transsexual. And before I go any further: YES people are born transsexual. For those of you open minded enough read evidence, read this webpage, especially the section called "Gender Basics". [url="http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/TS.html"]http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/TS.html[/url] Okay. So now you know that gender identity is inborn and unchangeable. That is why transsexual people transition in the first place.... Because they have a brain-body mismatch. By changing the body to match the mind and assuming a gender appropriate role in society a person can find happiness and fulfillment. Back to the article. A major flaw in the article is that it concentrates only on the 2% of people who "fail" transition. As I said before this ignores the 98% that are successful. In addition when you consider all the discrimination and prejudice that these people are exposed to it’s frankly amazing that 98% succeed. If society was more understanding and tolerant the success rate would surely approach 100%. Nobody transions overnight, it is a long, regimented process. Your author fails to mention that. Another major flaw has to do with the person referred to as "Mike Penner". The article implies that this person made a mistake. However, that judgment is premature. We have no idea how this persons journey will turn out yet. It is quite common for people to transition more than once before being successful. A famous example is transgender activist Donna Rose and I know a few others personally. The point is it is an invalid argument to use this case to brow beat others because Christine Daniels may yet be successful. In summary I don’t think shining a bright light on the very small number of people with regrets is helpful for the community at all. Everyone who enters transition knows the risks. All that is accomplished by an article like this is make it more difficult for the 98% of us who are successful.

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Anonymous, 2009-03-19 14:58:27

as one of the folks interviewed by scott for the article, i can honestly say that i don’t think it was the writer’s intention to suggest that those who "detransition" have somehow failed... i think there are some (obviously not all) in the gender community who see anyone who has not completed surgery, let alone someone who has "re-transitioned" as not being ’one’ with those who have, but in my experience, as time goes on a broader acceptance of all manner and degree of ’trans’ identity is being accepted as ’successful’. the writer doesn’t talk about ’failing’ transition (at least he didn’t talk to me that way)... rather he seemed to embrace the idea that the ultimate goal was self-realization and actualization through whatever identity seemed comfortable and appropriate (don’t mean to put words in his mouth... he certainly writes well enough on his own!) one thing i would suggest is that "re-transition" has always felt better (to me) than "detransition"... i don’t know how to "unexperience" the time i’ve spent living in a gender role different from that assigned at birth... whether you cross live for an hour or a day or a year, you are changed in both recognizing how you can feel about yourself, how you see the world, and how the world sees you. i struggled with my first ’retransition’ since it seemed like i was giving up on myself... i meditated and thought "i can’t stay here and i can’t go back... i feel stuck"... and the insight i had was, "the way out is the way you came in"... i consider my retransition as going forward through the same portal i previously passed through, but headed towards a different destination. but that’s just me... your mileage may vary! namaste

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Anonymous, 2009-03-31 09:02:16

Christine Daniels / Mike Penner is a friend of mine. The circumstances surrounding the incredibly public and stressful transition that occured when Mike became Christine was beyond anyones tolerance. I too am transsexual, and went through my transition about a year or so before Christine. Living full time, coming out at work, learning an entire new social structure is what we as transsexuals do. It’s called a "test" period because it isn’t right for everyone. For me it has turned out wonderfully, and I am as happy in my new life as possible. I didn’t have to go through the public transition and the intense scrutiny that my lovely friend Christine did. Had I, the result for me may have been the same. This is a difficult time for Mike / Christine, (s)he is in my prayers daily. As transmen and women we are only seeking what every human wants and needs, acceptance, happiness and peace. Christine was not allowed to experience those things not because her transition was ill advised, but because of ignorance, biggotry, and a lack of media integrety. That is the story here, not that a mind was changed. Susan

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